"There is no toilet paper over here, do you have any over there?"
The second man replies, "No, sorry, I don't seem to have any, either."
The first man then asks, "Well, do you have a magazine or newspaper?"
The second man says, "No, sorry!"
The first man goes silent for a few moments, then inquires, "Do you have change for a twenty?"
A executive is on a buisness trip touring Britain and he decides to give his wife a call. The maid answers.
"Hello I'd like to speak to my wife please." he says.
The maid replies "No I'm, afraid she's in bed with her lover at the moment"
The man is obviously shocked and so he asks the maid, "Would you like to earn $10,000 in a few minutes?"
"Yeah sure," The maid answers,"What do I need to do?"
"Take my shotgun out of the closet, walk into the bedroom and shoot them both." He hears two muffled shots and then the maid says,
"What shall I do with the bodies?" she says.
"Bury them in the back yard next to the swimming pool." he tells her.
"What swimming pool?" she enquires.
"Is this 24 Acia Terrace...?"
One day Bob goes to the hardware shop and buys a bathtub.
A couple of days later he goes back to the shop and complains that whenever he puts water in the bath it always runs out the bottom so he can't fill it up.
The shop assistant tells him: "You need to buy a plug, mate."
and Bob says "You b*****d! You never told me it was electric!"
