Pilot Jokes

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a
short-tempered lot.; They not only expect one to know one's gate
parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from
them.; So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened
to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a
British Airways 747, call sign "Speedbird 206":

Speedbird 206:; "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."

Ground:; "Speedbird 206.; Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."

The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground:; "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206:; "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location
now."

Ground (with arrogant impatience):; "Speedbird 206, haff you not been
to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly):; "Yes, twice in 1944 but I didn't stop."

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A Pan Am 727 flight engineer waiting for start clearance in Munich
overheard the following:

Lufthansa (in German):; "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"

Ground (in English):; "If you want an answer, you must speak English."

Lufthansa (in English):; "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in
Germany.; Why must I speak English?"

Unknown voice (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the
bloody war!"